Buggy Business

Hello bloggers! Welcome to our first home on the web! To keep you interested, we’ll be posting juicy – if not downright saucy – bits here as often as possible. As our first “official” poster, I guess I should be the one explaining what’s going on here. Toxic Biology is a blog created by three people (one of them being me) to vent and rant and just complain about the horrors of tenth grade. Yes, it’s true school hasn’t started yet, but we like to be prepared. So, in addition to my posts, you’ll be seeing some from Natasha and Kristen also. My name is Katie, and you’ll be finding out more about me in due time, but for now, let’s talk about one of my greatest fears and the reason why I currently can’t set foot in my kitchen.

(Tip for 10th: I find it useful to know people’s greatest fears so I can use it against them. However people don’t generally like to be reminded of this; so try and inquire discreetly. Think of CSI: High School. It’s a scary world out there, people, a scary scary world.)*

So my story begins innocently enough, I got thirsty and went into the garage to get a Pepsi, which is basically the battery fluid for my energizer bunny, got it? So, I come in from the garage and my brother is there heating up Chinese food, luckily he didn’t have any General Tao or else I would’ve pounced. So, I’m pouring my Pepsi into a glass, when suddenly I notice that somehow, on the way from the garage to the table, I’ve managed to get a dead spider on my hand.

Now, I’m not one of those girly girls who shriek at the sight of spiders and run to the other side of the room. Oh no, I’m much worse. I’m terrified of any type of insect imaginable, but I can’t kill them either, so I have a predicament. Once, I screwed up my courage and decided to smush a little bug on my basement floor, but I missed and ended up half-killing it while it still wiggled around. I sat there, paralysed for a good fifteen minutes before I could convince my body to move again and run up the stairs.
Oh, it gets better; maybe if I have time I’ll tell you about the paddleboat incident.

Anyway, back to the story. I noticed the dead spider on my hand and, naturally, flipped out. I remember running around the kitchen three times, banging my hand on tables and walls and everything else before finally making it into the living room (AKA, safety). Then, my brother proceeded to yell at me and say I wasn’t normal, which I already know so thankyouverymuch. So, I’m standing there in the living room, banging my hand on the table there until I finally stop when I notice that it hurts. (It’s kinda red now, actually). I venture into the kitchen cautiously a few minutes later, because I do need my Pepsi, and then I noticed it.


Out for you.

The spider’s right there, beside my drink, taunting me even in death…so, my brother steps in and flicks it to the floor while saying that my dog will eat it. I know, he’s an idiot, and he’s pretty weird, today I looked out my bedroom to see him carrying the bathroom door down the stairs. Whatever. So, I ran out of the kitchen and, three hours later, I’m faced with this dilemma. I’m hungry, but what if my dog didn’t eat the spider yet? What if I step on it? What if it’s somehow turned into a Zombie Spider? (When you’re paranoid and terrified like me, these things seem very possible).
Soooo…that’s basically my story for now. There may or may not be a dead spider in my kitchen, I’m hungry and there’s half-melted Easter chocolate in my room that’s looking more and more appetizing.

Help?

* “Tips for 10th” are basically helpful hints about how to survive grade 10 or high school in general. But, then again, what do I know?